Sexting. (or: How I Met Your Mother)
Heres one more topic for the podcast. I have to find someone (preferably a woman) who has sext at one point in their lives. I ask for a woman because men sexting isn’t that big of news item.
Let’s start with this. If you are under 18, sexting is not acceptable in any way shape or form. It is dumb, and is incredibly easy for that to come back to haunt you. I don’t care how “in love” you are, underage sexting is bad.
Ok, for adults now. There is an idea of privacy that needs to be established here. In the age of the Internet, you have less privacy. It’s sad, but not only have we willing given away most of our privacy with Facebook, twitter and blogs (whoops), but also we have lost our privacy in the form of voyeur sites. Paparazzi culture has created a voyeur subset of pop culture. This cause regular people who want to be famous, to play into that culture and exhibit themselves. There is real pressure on girls in this respect. And as I said yesterday, it’s incredibly wrong to pressure young girls into a sex presence at a young age.
Here is where I divert in a strange way. If you are someone who wants to send a photo to a significant other, you are welcome to. It’s really not that big of a deal. There are just things to weigh. Is this person trust worthy? Will they exploit this if we break up? Is it worth it? Those are easy to answer. If you aren’t worried about those type of things, send away. If you are, you need to think long and hard about what you are about to do.
We have been given the ability to connect on a level that we never have before. Between massively fast Internet connection, cell phones, and cameras becoming radically cheap, we have the ability to close any gap. As someone who bad a long distance relationship, these devices make it so much easier. Skype and texting and social media make it easier than ever before to connect with someone. And this ability will lead to an increase in sending of provocative information. It isn’t new, sexy photos were sent through the mail or left for people on their porch or in their mailboxes. The idea that “someone else” may see them makes some people like it more. This is the same reason people have public sex or dress in a way to get a certain look. Sexual kinks are not the issue, it’s the convenience to transmit the information that drives it up. Before cameras, women would leave behind something, send a provocative letter laced with her perfume, or give a man her underwear.
So why are we attacking a celebrity for taking a private photo? She should know better? That is sickeningly stupid. Should Erin Andrews have known better than to do her hair naked in her locked hotel room? Scarlet Johansson had her phone hacked. She didn’t leak the photos. And there is no proof she ever sent the photos, is a woman in America open to ridiculed because she had some naked photos on her phone? I read an attack on her today that says she wants it both ways, her privacy and to be a superstar. That there are enough provocative photos out there that she shouldn’t be upset that her phone was hacked. What a load of garbage. She deserves the privacy that we all enjoy, that in our locked homes, and especially in our bedrooms, we are afforded the right to be who we please. She didn’t post photos on Facebook or twitter, she took photos of herself for whatever reason. They are her personal property, and the THEFT of those is no different than someone breaking into her home and stealing her thong.
Of corse she knew the consequences of the activity she was involved in, but it does not give justification to what happened to her. There are consequences to all actions, not all of those are deserved. The consequences for an attractive woman to wear overalls at night is a possibility of a man abducting her, cutting the straps easily and raping her (side note: Police say that skirts and overalls are the worst outfits to wear because of easy ability for men to access a woman’s private area). Did she deserve the rape because of her fashion choice? Do I deserved to be mugged if I carry large bills in my wallet? Does a fan wearing the wrong jersey deserve to be killed?
There are consequences to every act you partake in. And you and you alone should understand those before you take part in those acts. But if you do, know that your privacy is still your right. Sexting is an adult practice, and as an adult it is your right to do what you want to do.
